So after dinner we trucked over to "He's Not", a total college dive, with Big Blue cups spilling over with crappy beer. Delightful. Right up my alley. Some observations...
Observation #1: Several of the ladies filled their Big Blue Cups with chardonnay, Blue Moon, and other adult beverages, to which I protested solely on principle. When in Rome...or Chapel Hill, drink college (read: crappy) beer. Otherwise, prepare yourself to be made fun of. By me, in particular.
Observation #2: If you are a woman anywhere in your thirties, do not fish for compliments regarding how young you look while visiting a college campus. You do not look young to a college kid. You do not even look young to a graduate student. Knowing this going into the evening can prevent many a problem and disappointment.
Observation #3: Even a group of women in their thirties do look young enough to some bar owners to be bought a bottle of champagne.
Observation #4: Do not take sides in the argument, "who is the louder person" between relatives. If your hand is forced to pick one, always side with the one who lives closest to you.
Observation #5: There are still hot college boys on campus. Some even wear plaid caps and can get away with it. This fashion statement does not translate well to suburban dads.
Observation #6: Pregnant women who willingly act as a designated driver should not be asked to be a DD again for at least 3 years. Maybe 4.
Observation #7: When in doubt, ask for identification. Yes, there is a graduate student whose name really is Fineth. Huh, somehow I missed that one the 2,643 times I read the baby name books while naming each of my four kids.
Observation #8: White pants do not wear well on a college campus. Or maybe it's that I do not wear white pants well on a college campus. I cannot be trusted to keep them clean.
Observation #9: People's faces really do fall into one of the following 3 categories: 1) horse 2) muffin 3) chicken (or bird). Seriously. Look around. See for yourself. I am a bird.
Observation #10: When riding in a car, if you are trying to discreetly throw up out the car window, know that there is nothing discreet about throwing up out a car window. At 70mph.
Observation #11: Try to resist the temptation to spoil the hopes and dreams of college students you encounter with what is really going to happen to them once they enter the real world, marry, and have a family. Let them believe they can change the world, marry beautiful, raise the perfect children, and retire young. There was a time those dreams were yours too.
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