Friday, June 12, 2009

So much for Kindergarten Graduation...

Yes, it was vomit on the sheets...The day did not end when I hit "post blog." In my tired state, I must have been delusional to think, no, hope, that it was something else. He continued to be sick throughout the night. Today I found a nice puddle on the far side of his nightstand. How I missed it, I don't know. How he missed all of his books below him, the alarm clock, most of his trophies and got everything over the top of the nighstand, onto the floor, curtain and far wall, I'll never know. He doesn't remember a thing.

I also received an email this morning from his kindergarten teacher that 20 out of 22 children in his class came down with the same thing. After talking with a mom from another class, she informed me that 10 kids in her son's class plus a few teachers were out with vomiting and diarrhea too (there are 4 kindergarten classes in the school). Talk about going out with a bang.

Happy last day of Kindergarten, Brady.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The answer to the question, "so what Do you do with your time as a stay at home mom?"

This week has been ridiculous. Just for shits and giggles, here is what i did today.

5:00am andrew is up, nursed him & put him back to bed. have no idea if he ever fell asleep as he was awake when i came back in at 7.
7am, wake up, get brady out of bed. get him motrin for his hand (that he whacked on a tree while sticking it out of a golf cart last night) and get him dressed and breakfast.
7:15, nurse andrew, change his diaper, lube his arm up with ringworm ointment
7:30am, wake brennan and nora, grab a couple of fruit bars and juice boxes (they may or may not have been lemonade) for nora and brennan to eat in the car on the way to take brady to school.
8am, feed andrew bfast and change his clothes
8:30, change over laundry, think about folding it, add it to the 2 loads I've already not folded on my bed, then get dressed and put andrew to bed
8:45, get nora and brennan dressed, pack lunch for andrew, snack for nora.
9:15, get girls ready to go, brennan to friend's house, nora to 10am doctors appointment
9:30, drop brennan off
9:50, get to dr office
11am, decline Hep A vaccine for Nora as I'm out of time, leave doctor's office and head to FA (his school) for an "off campus lunch" with brady
12pm, head to FA high school to drop brady off for graduation practice
12:30, hit target for more motrin, homework dollar store items for contribution, dress shirt for brady, since his one white button down has been lost
12:45, nurse andrew
1:15, get to FA high school for Brady's early release pick up
2:00, home, switch/fold laundry, unload dishwasher, load dishwasher, put andrew down for a nap (he never slept)
3:30, iron pants for brady and myself, sent brady to shower, threw nora in the tub
3:45, Piano teacher arrives, send brady in for piano lessons, get nora dressed, go to get brennan at her friend's house
4:00, sitter comes, get brennan dressed, switch brennan for brady in piano lessons, change poopy diaper, which is why (apparently) he never fell asleep
4:15, get kids a snack (have no idea when they'll eat)
4:30, get dressed, slap on makeup, additional D.O. since I'm sure it'll be close quarters in the gymnasium during the graduation ceremony
4:35, nurse andrew, put him down for a nap
4:45, wrap up piano lesson, load up kids in car (all but andrew)
5:15, get to FAHS, unload brady, sit in gym for 45 minutes trying to keep nora and brennan busy
6pm, graduation ceremony
7pm, cake reception
7:15, go to chickfila and pick up two 12pack nuggets - everyone starving and tired and cranky
7:30, brady's tummy hurts, get nora and brennan in jammies, in bed reading books
8pm, put everyone to bed, for the first time
8:05, sit with brady on the potty, tummy hurt=diarrhea, read magic treehouse book to him for 20 minutes while he's on the pot
8:30, put everyone back down for the 2nd or 3rd time
8:45, go outside, catch a couple of lightning bugs for brady, since he was too tired to wake up and catch them himself (and I've been promising to wake him up so he could see them)
9pm stuff my face with 6 cold, leftover chickfila nuggets, chug a glass of water
9:15, realize that andrew is still sleeping from him 4o'clock nap, go make sure he's still breathing. he is.
9:20, hook up cameras and download pics from tonight, and video to send to my parents
9:30, fold laundry, shoved the rest to Mark's side of the bed until tomorrow
10:00, sit down check my email, forward videos now that they're downloaded, create this timeline as a response to a friend's email asking what i did today. ackowledge that yes, i can be a smart-ass.
10:30, realize that i didn't buy teachers gifts. write a note to myself to cut some hydrangeas and bring to school for family lunch tomorrow to give to teachers with a thank you note that I haven't yet written.
10:45, hear someone stirring upstairs, ignore it until the noise gets louder
11:00, go upstairs when the noises don't go away, to find brady awake and complaining of a tummy ache again. he may or may not have thrown up, there was a suspicious but small spot of something on his sheets.
11:15 bring him downstairs, give him some water and set him up on the couch next to me
11:20, go upstairs, strip his bed (still can't confirm the throw up), throw his sheets in the washing machine.
11:25, sit on couch again, next to brady. wonder if he's played with alex the salmonella laden baby dragon lately.
11:26, wonder what kind of sleep i'll get tonight and thank god that mark's coming home tomorrow night.
11:27, post this blog.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

GNO - Part 2 - Observations from the Evening

So after dinner we trucked over to "He's Not", a total college dive, with Big Blue cups spilling over with crappy beer. Delightful. Right up my alley. Some observations...

Observation #1: Several of the ladies filled their Big Blue Cups with chardonnay, Blue Moon, and other adult beverages, to which I protested solely on principle. When in Rome...or Chapel Hill, drink college (read: crappy) beer. Otherwise, prepare yourself to be made fun of. By me, in particular.

Observation #2: If you are a woman anywhere in your thirties, do not fish for compliments regarding how young you look while visiting a college campus. You do not look young to a college kid. You do not even look young to a graduate student. Knowing this going into the evening can prevent many a problem and disappointment.

Observation #3: Even a group of women in their thirties do look young enough to some bar owners to be bought a bottle of champagne.

Observation #4: Do not take sides in the argument, "who is the louder person" between relatives. If your hand is forced to pick one, always side with the one who lives closest to you.

Observation #5: There are still hot college boys on campus. Some even wear plaid caps and can get away with it. This fashion statement does not translate well to suburban dads.

Observation #6: Pregnant women who willingly act as a designated driver should not be asked to be a DD again for at least 3 years. Maybe 4.

Observation #7: When in doubt, ask for identification. Yes, there is a graduate student whose name really is Fineth. Huh, somehow I missed that one the 2,643 times I read the baby name books while naming each of my four kids.

Observation #8: White pants do not wear well on a college campus. Or maybe it's that I do not wear white pants well on a college campus. I cannot be trusted to keep them clean.

Observation #9: People's faces really do fall into one of the following 3 categories: 1) horse 2) muffin 3) chicken (or bird). Seriously. Look around. See for yourself. I am a bird.

Observation #10: When riding in a car, if you are trying to discreetly throw up out the car window, know that there is nothing discreet about throwing up out a car window. At 70mph.

Observation #11: Try to resist the temptation to spoil the hopes and dreams of college students you encounter with what is really going to happen to them once they enter the real world, marry, and have a family. Let them believe they can change the world, marry beautiful, raise the perfect children, and retire young. There was a time those dreams were yours too.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Update

Since I've been asked, I thought I'd provide you with an update Salmonella story.

Yes, she still has the baby dragon.

If any of you can provide a contaminated Anole with a good home, let me know, and I can make the connection for you.

If anyone can provide a reasonable story for her kids as to where Alex can go and have a pleasant, cricket filled new life (as far as they know), also let me know.

If anyone knows of any reason why she shouldn't let it go into the wild and become part of the circle of life (would it become one of those exotic pets wrecking havoc on the native flora and fauna or would it just become part of the food chain?), please let me know.

Friday, June 5, 2009

GNO part 1: dinner

Girls Night Out. To celebrate a friend's birthday, we headed over to Chapel Hill for a little bar crawl last Friday night. One of the nine ladies hitting the town that evening was pregnant and willingly offered to be our DD for the night. I offered up my truck, which allowed all nine of us to drive together (and take advantage of the DD while she's still gestating).

Margaritas flowing, off we head to Top of the Hill, a Chapel Hill Icon, where we were met by the most uncongenial bunch of servers and hostesses I've had the misfortune to encounter in quite a while. Graduation is over, they're well in to summer (=slow) session now. You would have thought it was March Madness with the way they demanded that everyone in our party be present, in the flesh, before they seated us. I actually had to tell the hostess that we were all there, save one who was in the car, pumping milk from her breasts and would be detained a few more minutes, so please for the love of God, let us sit down (there were empty tables all around). She wasn't quite sure how to handle that one, poor thing, and we were seated shortly thereafter.

Our server, with a double major in international relations and women's studies, was bitter. I think she was wishing that she'd studied something, well, a tad more marketable, as all of her friends apparently left Chapel Hill (and her) for a real job, um, I mean, the real world. I refrained from telling her that 95% of the things she learned in her Women's Studies classes falls into the following categories 1)bullshit 2) bullshit or 3)bullshit.

Wait until she has a few children, preferably at least one boy and one girl. Then she can conduct her own case study on "nature vs nurture." Get ready for the results: Boys play rough and really do tend to like cars and trucks, and (surprise!) girls generate drama and really do like dolls! Conclusion: BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. (gasp!)

I too, took a number of Women's Studies classes in college. It took about 5 years of being a mom (once I had birthed a boy and a girl so I could conduct my own study) to pull out the Bullshit Card and wish I could get a refund on those classes. What I could do with a smidge of that out-of-state University of Michigan tuition right now. Who am I kidding, it'd go right into the 529 plans for the kids...........